There is a process associated with death and dying. I have been trying to understand the gravity and the impact of death since I lost my mother at ten years old. People tend to make assumptions or have preconceived notions about when you should be done with your grieving process.When an individual is dying a time frame is connected with the loss; whereas when an individual dies suddenly there isn't a time frame related to the death. You just have to immediately face and accept death has happened regardless if you weren't ready for it when it showed up in your life.
When you are unprepared, unaware, blind sighted, and or ill-equipped to handle the death of a person or a thing it can be devastating. It's the moment when most people don't know how to release the pain in order to move beyond their death experience. They hold on to it by resisting it with anger, hatred, confusion, and depression to just name a few emotions that can hinder you and keep you in a place of bondage for life. It's vital that you get the help you need to properly release those negative toxic emotions. It's the point of no return. Once you reach this connection, your understanding will be at a new level. It's an incomprehensible, unexplainable experience on this particular plane of existence.
With that being said, don't allow anyone to dictate to you how long your death, burial and resurrection process should take. I have discovered that it can take decades to deal with the loss of someone or their death. You must recognize dealing with death is a process. The acknowledgment of death allows one to prepare for the next step which is the burial process.
Once you complete the burial process then comes the resurrection process. Yet, I have also learned to recognize that the burial process manifests at a more efficient level once you have acknowledged, accepted then announced the death. The most important thing to remember in your healing process is each phase can take several years to overcome. The irony is that regardless of how long it takes for you to acknowledge the death; the burial process will always be less combative.
The burial is representative of finality. It's the place of identifying that closure has taken place. It's the place of truly letting go in order to transition into something greater. I always thought for me that the death experience was much more critical and symbolic than the burial. That was due to my immaturity because I was holding on to the dead thing longer than I should have. I spent years rehearsing the pain of my death experiences instead of releasing them. What I have sensed discovered is, if you mentally ascend through the mourning of the death process and face burial the only thing left is the resurrection.
My prayer is for those of you that have faced any type of loss in this capacity is to not get stuck in one phase without moving through all three phases. You can spend thirty bitter years holding onto the death by blaming someone for the cause. Then spend the next twenty years being resentful about the burial. You then stay stuck and become traumatized by never experiencing the resurrection process; which will never be conducive to your growth healing and recovery.
The life lesson is to take the time necessary to release the pain associated with the death free from any form of negativity. Then allow yourself the space to bury the dead thing. If, and when you reach a sense of clarity and understanding of your own individualized death journey then the burial should have a synchronicity process connected with the closure of the death and any form of pain associated with it.
I will close by saying, after dealing with many deaths at various levels and capacities in my life; I have learned to seek closure and clarity without making excuses or blaming anyone for the pain I had to endure. Understanding that the pain of death or lost must have a purpose. Have patience with yourself because after, the internal work is done an insightful truth will be revealed. Just get ready to experience your resurrection. Peace. ~ Lori M.
